Out on a walk the other day
Minding my business in a minding my business way,
Along strolls a mother with a tiny pram,
The contents of which was chewing on ham,
Now I’m not one to advise on child care per se,
Not since the baby kicking incident anyway
But, from a distance, it was without doubt,
The ugliest baby I’ve seen knocking about,
Its teeth were sharp, with a lolling tongue,
You see this baby was all kinds of wrong,
Its ears were pointy, Its fingers were weird,
It was kind of dribbling into its beard,
But as I got closer, still staring agog,
I sighed as I realised,
Thanks god, it’s a dog
A dog in a pram,
What’s that all about?
The dog was in when it should be out,
The dog should be walking – that’s what dogs do,
It was very confusing to think this one through,
Go for a walk dog, see you later,
Why is stuck in a perambulator?
Why does it sound like it needs an inhaler?
Why is it sat on its arse in a trailer?
What could it have done to be treated like that?
When it should be out trying to chase down a cat,
And failing because cats are extremely clever,
But not in a pram, No way never,
Not in a pram for a dog its absurd,
Tell me right now how has this occurred?
Did you go to the pet shop get lost on the way?
And end up in pram world what happened today?
Let the pup sup the dew from the grass
Feel the mud in its paws,
Lick its own jaws
It don’t want applause
It just wants to be, I mean come on
Give a dog a bone
Let it stretch its supple limbs,
Give me one of those dog howling hymns
That end with the line let me run free…
What, its old and can’t walk you say?
Fair play, carry on then
Don’t mind me