I really should have started with a proper induction into Hell Inc. Of course we want you to feel welcome so please be reassured, there is a special place in Hell just for you!
Hell Inc formerly known as Purgatory holdings is a unique business based in the fiery depths of God knows where (literally). How do you get to be part of this fabulous company I hear you ask. Well, to assist you I have created a series of FAQ’s to resolve any queries you might have.
FAQ’s for Hell Inc
What opportunities are there for promotion?
We are always on the look out for talented sadists and torturers, it is a dying skill, literally! Submit your CV to our Manager of People and Persecutions and we will give it due consideration. Expect long delays in responses times (this is Hell after all)
Annual leave and holidays
It’s fine to take time off whenever you feel like it. and subject to business needs. The fires must be stoked daily however and this is non negotiable so ensure that you have appropriate cover.
Uniform
We are an inclusive organisation. If you wish to grown horns or hooves feel free. We have a zero tolerance approach to discrimination. We aim to treat all employees with equal contempt. Our standard uniform comes in red and…red. White and gold are strictly forbidden colour palettes.
Accommodation
Each employee is allocated there own hovel to live in. It is acceptable to burn down other people’s hovels but not your own.
Disciplinaries
Yes of course! take liberties, we encourage creativity and innovation.
Reward scheme
Notice a colleague who is particular evil or skilled in torture? Great! Why not nominate them for a red letter day? Mr B the CEO will consider all applications on a case by case basis.
Leaving the organisation
Sadly we are unable to accept resignations, once you are in you are here for eternity. Sorry (not sorry).
Gavin Turner 